A New Year and time to start blogging again especially as I
am now a lady of leisure! Urgh yeah right!
After taking six months unpaid leave from my job at the
University library I should have been returning this week but after much soul
searching I decided before Christmas that it was time to realise that I can’t
do everything and I handed in my notice.
It was a relief when I finally made the decision. When I
went back last year I enjoyed working once I was there. It gave me the freedom
of just being me and being able to read a book on the metro and go to the
toilet on my own and enjoy some adult conversation. Not to mention lunch breaks browsing in Cath Kidston. It was a breath of fresh
air. But I couldn’t switch off when I left the house I was trying to juggle
work commitments and constantly checking my phone to make sure that everyone
was ok. There was so much guilt involved, guilt that I was leaving them all and
guilt at feeling so unreliable at work. I took six months unpaid leave to try
and work out a plan of action and hoped that once the girls were all that
little bit older that it may be easier to arrange childcare but in the end I
knew that it just made more sense for me to be at home with them.
It is hard giving up a good job in this day and age when
they are so hard to come by and I miss my lovely work friends who saw me
through IVF treatments and two twin pregnancies. I also feel a little out of
touch with reality too as I don’t get time to read and rarely switch on the
news. I tend to learn things through facebook and my world revolves around
Disney, Ben and Holly and Peppa Pig. My days are challenging, having two very
strong willed two year olds fighting with each other and their big sisters can
wear you down. But in between there are some wonderful moments that I wouldn’t
want to miss for the world and I feel very lucky that I have four such happy,
healthy and ‘spirited’ girls.
2015 is going to be a year of change with my babies all growing up so fast and my big girls starting school in September! I am hoping I might even find a bit of me time in there somewhere too.
